School Closures Gifts

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"How's the home schooling going?"

Ethics exam cheater.

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

Summertime

Happy holidays for kids.

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

The Re-Opening of Schools

'Chewing cud, Steven? Well, I hope you brought enough for the whole class!'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

I drive, therefore I am.

"You weren't laid off...it's called Summer break."

Kentucky Fried Horse

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

School holidays

"You know, no matter how much you stare at your watch, summer isn't going to come any faster."

'We'll get a head start on goofing off.'

Learning.

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

'We're e-bankrupt.'

Sales

Why do I have to go to camp? What's the alternative? Fend for myself like the resourceful youth of old! Right! The kind who worked dawn to dusk! I'll tell your dad you'll be right over to haul mulch for the nursery. The baseball camp sounds plenty rugged!

"I made him out of my mom's mashed potatoes. Since there's no snow, I had to improvise."

Small Businesses Go Under.

Start of school year in Cuba 1

Line on graph goes right through floor.

"Nice to have you all back at school, tap-tap, there are lessons to learn."