School Cafeteria Staff Gifts

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Cafe Burns.

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

'I have an open-door policy, but only until the air conditioner is repaired.'

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

'I will be a chaperone at the senior prom. I need a prom dress but I don't want to be mistaken for a student.'

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."