School Cafeteria Staff Mugs

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Cafe Burns.

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"Let me take that for you."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

'I have an open-door policy, but only until the air conditioner is repaired.'

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

'I will be a chaperone at the senior prom. I need a prom dress but I don't want to be mistaken for a student.'

Cunning as a Fox hey? Well, I saw you cheating Mister! D-Minus!

"Yes, you look presentable. Now get on!"