School Cafeteria Worker Gifts

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

"Don't worry about serving chicken to a vegetarian, Carmen. We all make mistakes. I once mistook a mop bucket for a soup pot."

Bulk School Mince.

"I won't miss Michelle Obama."

'Well of course the custard's lumpy...it's got garlic in it.'

"Podge is stocking up ahead of the dinner ladies strike."

"That's the problem with Easter eggs. My mother thinks they're food."

"Baldo, I haven't seen you at school."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

Cafe Burns.

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

"Would you like me to warm up your eggs?"

"A little lamb please."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."