School Cafeteria Worker Gifts

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

"Don't worry about serving chicken to a vegetarian, Carmen. We all make mistakes. I once mistook a mop bucket for a soup pot."

Bulk School Mince.

"I won't miss Michelle Obama."

'Well of course the custard's lumpy...it's got garlic in it.'

"Podge is stocking up ahead of the dinner ladies strike."

"That's the problem with Easter eggs. My mother thinks they're food."

"Baldo, I haven't seen you at school."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Cafe Burns.

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"A little lamb please."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Would you like me to warm up your eggs?"

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

Chicken Coupe.

"I'm told the items marked with happy faces are especially yummy."

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.