School Advice Gifts

We realise you do better on your I.Q. tests than you do in anything else, but you just cannot major in I.Q.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Right...you're all in detention until we find out who put the chameleon on the tartan rug!"

Serious Putty

"We thought this was more realistic."

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'Between the school assignments, sports classes, and dance lessons, I hardly have any time to spend with my dolls.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

'Will this help me get into law school?'

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

Study more to pass more tests.

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"This is an improvement. You helped him study for his last test."

"I try to get a head start on them."

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

'I didn't write the report. I printed it directly from the Internet, but I did all of the stapling and collating myself.'

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'