School Advice Gifts

We realise you do better on your I.Q. tests than you do in anything else, but you just cannot major in I.Q.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Right...you're all in detention until we find out who put the chameleon on the tartan rug!"

Serious Putty

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

"We thought this was more realistic."

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

'Between the school assignments, sports classes, and dance lessons, I hardly have any time to spend with my dolls.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'Will this help me get into law school?'

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

Study more to pass more tests.

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

"This is an improvement. You helped him study for his last test."

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

"I try to get a head start on them."

"I am studying the alphabet. I'm watching ABC."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am a 24-year-old man. The woman I am about to marry is having second thoughts because she believes that we are too young. What do you think? - Jacob. Actual reader letter. Great question. When is the right time to marry? Randy, our commitment expert, would you like to handle this one? Jacob, really, what were you expecting?! Medic! Randy's not moving.

'I didn't write the report. I printed it directly from the Internet, but I did all of the stapling and collating myself.'

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'