Scent Gifts

'Apricot Quince? Baked Apple? Wild Huckleberry? If they had these soaps when I was a kid I wouldn't have minded having my mouth washed out.'

"I was attracted by his edgy cynicism, but I hated his cologne."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"What pheromone are you using?"

Island Breeze Scented Air Fresheners.

I can smell the cheese sandwiches.

'He says the scent killer isn't working and he wants his money back.'

;What kind of deodorant are you?'

New Blah Cologne for Dull Men.

"I can smell things you can't even begin to imagine..."

"I hate how musty it gets down here."

Ah, the new-car smell? We call it the Elon Musk.

"He thinks he's so clever, sucking on breath mints and wearing cologne, but he's not fooling me, I can smell he's still smoking in secret..."

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

Aromatherapy for Men

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."

Fumes from furniture

"It's less of a spell than it is a signature scent."

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

"I ask you, how can something so cute and soft smell like a bag of Fritos?"

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

LOVENUTS: 'We were irresistibly attracted to each other's smells,' says Jo-Jo.

This cologne reminds my husband of our first kiss, years ago in the old copy room. It's eau de mimeograph.

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

"Your perfume is driving me crazy. It smells like truffles."

'Garlic or non-garlic?'

"Absolutely perfect! How did you know?"

"Penny, what is that scent you have on? I must know." "Don't you just love it, Lucy? It's dead rat."

Skunk to psychologist: 'It doesn't do me any good to stop and smell the roses.'

At the animal perfume fair.

"Wait, are you wearing my Hermes 24 Faubourg."

"I've decided - I want to create my own essence."

'Nothing for me, thanks -- I'm just here for the aroma therapy.'