Scavenging Gifts

'Do they make one of those that finds lost bones?'

'All I can tell you is they're not the cute little birds who usually ride around on us.'

Man with metal detector finds metal on beach, but it's a buried metal detector and its owner is also dead and buried.

"I'll trade you a banana peel and an apple core for two fish heads."

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

"Are we going to do the five second rule?"

'It's one of those evenings when I just open a can.'

One never knows!

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

'But what do you sell?'

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"Oh, that looks fantastic! Honey, doesn’t that look delicious?!"

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

"How much is the sign?"

'The good news is, I got your Mum's cardigan.'

'Would sir like to start with the hors d'oeuvres, or just go to the main corpse?'

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

"You're early - trash day's not till thursday."

'Bob, I think I hate people.'

I buy anything.

"AWW! We ALWAYS do a scavenger hunt!"

'Ugh, a contact lens. I wish he'd had corrective surgery because I hate artificial ingredients.'

"It's those bloody Jehovah's Witness kids again! Knocking and not running away!"

"Arr...Here must be the spto where the treasure's buried! Start diggin'!"

'I haven't eaten kosher in ages.'

The End is Near: Shoe Sales Ends Friday!

Rag and Bone

"The generic term for this is "roadkill" son, as, more often than not, we can't identify what it is: tuck in!"

Carrion Helper

'Maybe you just got a hold of something fresh.'