Scatterbrain Gifts

'I need to work on my case-management skills - I've left mine on the train again.'

"Dear diary, what the heck did you do with my car keys?!"

'Yeah, I misplaced my winning Lottery ticket. I'm always losing things. I've lost my Oscar, my Nobel Peace Prize, my chunk of moon rock, my collection of four leaf clover's...'

X-ray Psychology.

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'The girls must be feeling better...'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Ok, so you beat me at scrabble!"

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

"Whoa! Was that today?"

Phil uses all seven tiles in Scrabble and ascends to heaven

"My mom's getting me a tutor. That's kind of a personal trainer for the brain."

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

"Well %$@#(&!! is not a banned word in the &%Xsing UK!"

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

"And if the golf area of the brain was somehow destroyed, there might be a little something extra in it for you."

Traditional wisdom tells us that the brain takes on the shape of what it rests upon.

"I don't like playing Scrabble with Gracie! She totally makes up all kinds of crazy words! And they're always in the dictionary!"

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

'...And then, apparently, it just went berserk when someone insisted on having 'Podcast'.'

Congress today convened a special panel to study use of illegal performance enhancing drugs on the senior Scrabble tour. Members of Congress expressed outrage that such a national pastime could be sullied by fiber doping. Their anger led to an angry exchange with one witness. Hey Congress, here's a four-letter word … Turn off her mic.

"Those are all my passwords."

I'm thankful for Xbox Series X. Scrabble. The Love Doctor. Well I'm thankful for friends and family. That's what I meant. What he said. and the Love Doctor.

"We've discovered the part of the human brain that activates achievement is located right next to the section that governs how much you look out the window."

'Sorry, Dr. Schmertzdorf — that was my right brain talking.'

Come to bed, snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points, and then told him his parents don

"ADHD is a chronic condition marked by an inability to focus attention for an extended perio. . ."

"There you are!"

The brain cell that was suppose to help me remember.

"Well, Martha, I certainly hope your Scrabble victories keep you warm at night!"

No caption (A painter paints an abstract picture. Her cat is moving away from in front of the canvas and there is a cat-shaped silhouette on the painting)