Screen Scatterbrain Gifts

'Now that Jim sits in front of a computer all day, he's lost the will to watch TV.'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Whoa! Was that today?"

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

"Those are all my passwords."

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

The brain cell that was suppose to help me remember.

'What a nice gesture from the principal. If only he could do that in person.'

"There you are!"

No caption (A painter paints an abstract picture. Her cat is moving away from in front of the canvas and there is a cat-shaped silhouette on the painting)

"I forgot my password, so I created a new one. Then, I forgot that one, so I created a new one. Maybe you were right. I should write them down."

"Dry cleaning, pet store, Salvation Army - I'd be lost without my stickies on the dash!"

"I've lost my keys, my wallet and my iPhone! Frankly, I think MINE is the lost generation!"

"Dear diary, what the heck did you do with my car keys?!"

'Yeah, I misplaced my winning Lottery ticket. I'm always losing things. I've lost my Oscar, my Nobel Peace Prize, my chunk of moon rock, my collection of four leaf clover's...'

'You know sooner or later they'll notice you've replaced your monitor with a portable TV.'

'If I knew exactly where I lost his insulin - it would not be lost - would it!?!'

'I can't find my glasses!' 'I can't find my mobile phone!'

"I got it, I got it. Self rising flour. I won't forget next time."

'It's one of those days when point and click feels more like drag and drop.'

'I need to work on my case-management skills - I've left mine on the train again.'

"I was going to do something. What the hell was it?"

"Welcome to the Remote Control Freak Recovery Program."

"Good times, bad times, I've never known what was going on."

"Can you call my phone, my keys, my wallet, my glasses, my shirt, and my pants?"

Glasses to find other glasses.

'Darlin', have you seen my glasses, I want to have a read?'

"When I turned off his computer, he deflated."

"I can't find the lottery ticket, but on the bright side, I found my remote."

"Where the heck is my phone?"