Scar Collectors T-Shirts

"An amusing story no doubt Captain, but let me tell you about my experiences with the head hunters of the Amazon!"

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

Sundial Time

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

Tom Hanks

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

Acme Flyswatters.

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Orthopaedist

Gene Tierney caricature

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

The Lone Ranger receives a disconcerting smoke signal from Tonto....

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

"Do you have anything smaller?"