Scar Collectors Pillows

"An amusing story no doubt Captain, but let me tell you about my experiences with the head hunters of the Amazon!"

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Sundial Time

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Do you buy cars here?"

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

Tom Hanks

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

Robert Mitchum

Orthopaedist

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Gene Tierney caricature

Acme Flyswatters.

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

James May

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

W.C.Fields

"It's the press. They want to know if you have anything to say about the sexual harassment charges being levied against you."

Johnny Depp

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

Charlie Chaplin

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"Do you have anything smaller?"

Driverless tow truck.

'Really? I was an extra in several John Wayne movies too...'