Scale Watcher Gifts

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

"I knew it was time to diet when I had to binge watch the scale to see how much the needle moved."

Hey, I expect accuracy, but there's no need to be brutally frank!

'You weigh 14 pints.'

"I don't think it matters is you choose metric or imperial."

"Man does not live by bread alone. Man has been eating a great deal of butter."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Critisize your weight.

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

Squirrel on the beach

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Scales

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"It's a Mexican Wave!!"

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

Fat man on scales.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."