Scale Observer Gifts

'Well, we couldn't store all the corn.'

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

Critisize your weight.

Shark food pyramid.

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Shrink

Gone to seed.

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

Caution: Crumbling Economies

A very young mariner. A young mariner. An ancient mariner.

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

Woman and sport trainer

'Asteroid, asteroid!' ... 'Fore!'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

Oculist.

'...I think I found Ursa Major.'

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

First Contact

'Walk it off, babe. Walk it off.'

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

'It looks fishy to me.'

This is great, Ernie! Photoshopping pictures is a lot easier than dieting!

Hand me the remote...

"Another example of corporate redundancy."

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

'Whaddya mean the scale keeps flashing tilt?'

"We start out as bottom fish and just seem to stay here."

"You do know 'high noon' isn't until June."

'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'