Height Observers Gifts

'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

'Hey everybody, I've decided to stop doing landscape drawings, and start doing caricatures of my fellow passengers.'

'I like your attitude, Brigley.'

Above reproach.

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"How can you cross the road so decisively? I have to stop halfway across every time to rethink it."

"It's a turkey vulture, and it's got something big. Honey, where's Delia?"

Astronaut Selfie.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"Look at that ant farm! I love the ants' little overalls!

"Oh crap, my mood ring!"

"I can hear some rattling: Better start writing those birth notices Darling..."

"The boss is not very bright." "True, but if he was smart you wouldn't have a job."

"And another thing, Beckton, I don't recall ever saying, 'Correct me if I'm wrong.' "

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

No, I don't think they throw those up here for us.

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

A spider meal prepping

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

Go Back to New York

Cat and Squirrel on Screen Door.

"Good point, Remson. You couldn't be more right if you were me."

'Hey, fellas, I wouldn't do that if I were you. He can be really dangerous when provoked!'

Impractical Gardener.

"Oh, man. Ha ha! The look on your face when that squirrel turned around and started chasing you!"

Bird Bathrooms

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'