Scale Master Gifts

Woman strips on a public scale in order to get a lower reading.

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

Shrink

What your guitar says about you.

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

'I don't know why you find it so hard to stop and ask for directions.'

Petro Poroshenko

'It just needs tidying up a bit.'

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

Orienteering 101

Rand McNally's cartography department enjoys a spirited, after-hours game of charades.

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

Practicing the C major scale in 6 positions.

Lady Justice using metric scales.

'Acquiring Satellite.'

"We're all metric now..."

Directions Available - Discretion Assured.

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

"Dad's working out car charging points if we want to visit grandad."

'Absent any details, in purely visual terms, I like it.'

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'

"I am sorry to inform you that you are displaying early signs of senile dimensiona Mr Johnson."

"Holy cow! I've gained eight pounds!"

Normal sized door, chair and lamp next to mouse hole and proportional furniture.

'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'

Mouse/Rat on weighing machine: 'I squeak your weight.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. It's print out says 'I Quit!'.

"I must not eat pies off the path, I must not eat pies off the path..."