Scale Master Pillows

Woman strips on a public scale in order to get a lower reading.

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

What your guitar says about you.

Shrink

'It just needs tidying up a bit.'

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

'Sorry, sweetie, but your weight is still the same.'

Petro Poroshenko

'I don't know why you find it so hard to stop and ask for directions.'

Orienteering 101

Rand McNally's cartography department enjoys a spirited, after-hours game of charades.

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

Lady Justice using metric scales.

"We're all metric now..."

'Acquiring Satellite.'

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

Practicing the C major scale in 6 positions.

I don't care if your friend has a flight simulator. You're going to learn to fly on your own.

Whatever ran over the poor guy really left some marks. Tape measure.

Directions Available - Discretion Assured.

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

'Apple maps has upgraded us from 'lost' to 'misplaced'.'

'Absent any details, in purely visual terms, I like it.'

"Dad's working out car charging points if we want to visit grandad."

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'

"I am sorry to inform you that you are displaying early signs of senile dimensiona Mr Johnson."

My diet is working! I'm almost down to what I didn't want to get up to!

"Holy cow! I've gained eight pounds!"

Normal sized door, chair and lamp next to mouse hole and proportional furniture.

'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'

Mouse/Rat on weighing machine: 'I squeak your weight.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. It's print out says 'I Quit!'.