Sausage Skeptic Gifts

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'Do you call this spaghetti'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Dog begging for a sausage

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

Bangers and Mash

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'

Silly sausages

'Boy am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Bed or breakfast.

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

'You can't do this! I'm a cumberland sausage, I have protected status!'

"See, this is what happens if you're not a good boy!"

Woman walking sausage dog.

The Humpback Whale . . . or as the Japanese call it, sushi.

A trio of local sausages.

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"