Satirical Societies Gifts

Prehistoric firing squad.

Politically Correct Snowperson

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

The prying mantis,

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Horse statue throws off rider.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"I'm after the history section."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

Inhospitality tent.

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"We're on track for net zero."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

'I'm Anna Nicole Smith. But not THE Anna Nicole Smith!'

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

"All the better to ignore you with."

Wine tasters...

"One trip to the dentist and look who's got the attitude!"