Satirical Society Analyst Gifts

Politically Correct Super Heroes.

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Horse statue throws off rider.

Strainspotting

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

Before the riots/after the riots

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

What sort of society would we have if everybody put public interest ahead of government interest?

'Oh, that's a deduction to pay for management perks.'

Monkey Business College

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

Blok conforming, with difficulty.

"Your personality test shows you are selfish, mean, and lazy. We'd like to offer you a position in management."

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

'It's your debt to society.'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Europe

Pizzas

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

Precisely Inprecise