Satirical Seer Gifts

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

British savings accounts

Priest's 'To do' list.

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Horse statue throws off rider.

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'Even More Disciples'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

Justice

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"It's a sequel to 'The Thinker'. It's 'The Blamer.'"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'