Satirical Sightseer Gifts

Tourist sucker hall of fame

Easter Island legs

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

'Aloha! On behalf of the tourist board may I thank you for visiting our remote and mysterious island - Have a nice day!'

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

"...it was believed that anyone who displeased it would meet with a terrible fate, which of course is complete nonsen..."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

Standings: Milky Way Conference

Scandalous! The Germans are occupying the best places on the beach!

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'Sometimes I think you're on a different planet.'

'Because only men can believe than 1 inch equals a mile.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"Miss Winthrop, tell my callers that I'm busy with the World Bank."

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

TV and man

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

"Die alone"

"Some other news, China declares war on Peru, ISIS blows up the pyramids and the pope resigns. Now back to more comments from David Bowie fans."

A well-dressed panhandler holds a sign that reads "Will argue for food".

"I'm going to use my tax cut to trickle down on you all."

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

"I liked the one that saluted."

Man who's eyes are in his glasses,

Bad business inc.

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Joy Behar?'

"A lot of voter's will be floating today."

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

"I can refer you either to Dr. Basinkski, a noted specialist, Dr. Hodge-Cabot, who is a pioneer in the field, or Charlie, a generic doctor who also does a very nice job."