Satirical Scholar Pillows

"Happy?"

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

'No thanks, I'm trying to avoid getting involved in gang culture.'

Atilla the Hun, sadly neglected by historians for his progressive approach to personnel management.

In. Out. Shake it all about

'But in the business world, failure is rewarded with big bailouts.'

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

'My parents want me to go to a Poison Ivy School.'

"I know you all paid your taxes last month, but since then we've had tax reform!"

Noah's Publisher: 'No, I'm not asking you to lie. I'm asking you to embellish the truth for the sake of marketing...'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Our interview with the author of the best-selling book, 'how I never paid taxes', has been postponed 5 to 10 years."

'Actually, I learned a lot in college, but there are very few job openings out there for expert beer drinkers.'

Emile Durkheim

For Those Who Don't Feel That Driving School Is Quite Enough, There's...Driver's University

Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin

"I became a boss because I was afraid to become an employee and get a boss like me!"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Ladies and gentlemen, this lecture is for stimulation purposes only."

"Bad news, I got you parole. . . you go straight into lockdown."

What to expect when everything's unexpected.

"This course covers deceptive student loans, bankruptcy laws and revenge."

"You'll need proof of vaccination, proof of booster vaccination, a current negative test, and furthermore you'll need a notarized certification and. . ."

"But you said we should search thoroughly for the right answer!"

"Russia has rich oligarchs. The US has rich athletes."

"The reason why U.S. time is behind English time is because England was discovered first..."

"Should medical students be asked their political opinions?"

"I am concerned that the students may feel they can improve their grades by sucking up to you."

No child left below

Doctorate Stand

Society for the Furtherance of Liberal Thought.

Monkey Business College

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

'Center for rat race studies'

Now Hiring - No Experience Necessary.