Satirical Thinker Pillows

"There can be no peace until they renounce their Rabbit God and accept our Duck God."

'Have you noticed it, too?'

'Today's agenda - 1:Emerge, 2:Eat, 3:Mate, 4:Die.'

"It's all marketing - no one actually wears that stuff."

Big Society in hospitals

Still waiting for change.

Over-estimated the power of prayer - please help.

Einstein Ponders the Mysteries of Space and Time

I'm a member of four class action suits and I play the lottery each week. That's my retirement plan.

"Thanks, Super Rich Man."

'While we're on the subject of basic human rights, are we all aware that the coffee machine in the hall is broken?'

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

'I'm here to bring you the civilisation! You can stop being natives and become customers!'

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

"I should have bought more crap."

The Machine that transforms the mob in to the respectable.

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

'I think your son shows aptitude for becoming a pollster. After each Math answer he writes 'plus or minus 10%.''

Politics, Finance, Religion.

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

"Sometimes I wonder if we haven't carried ecumenism a bit too far."

"There's no need to take notes. I have no idea what I'm talking about."

'Once they stop believing that it's flat, I'll make it round.'

Sign says 'False Sense of Security only $5', customer says 'Can I swap you for a fool hardy lack of concern?

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

Trash Recycle Pretend to Recycle

"If the plunger doesn't clear up the condition, bring in your drains and we'll have a look at them."

"Legal advises finger-pointing."

'Henry, you're on top of this week's team pyramid.'

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

'Rather than a working-vacation, how about just vacationing here at the office?'

'Good Lord, what is it this week? New equipment for your kid's soccer team?'

"Do you let the management consultants do everything for you?"

'When I die please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. Write on the envelope, now you have everything.'

'Each week I give 100% of myself to this job, at the rate of 20% per day.'