Satirical Thinking Pillows

'And how long have you wanted to be Tory party leader?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Occu-Pie Mars

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"You're fired."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

They're Not Just That Into It

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Torturing the English Language

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Trump pardons

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

UK border controls relaxed.

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

No-Work Orange

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Ghostwriting the Bible

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

CIA report

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."