Satirical Thought Leader Pillows

Dollar: Warning - May cause excessive greed, loss of human empathy and disregard for vital environmental systems.

My only skill is taking tests.

"Nation-building never works."

"You're fired."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

Flags

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Reagacentennial

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"You're on a what?!"

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

The International and May Day Terrorism

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

The economy.

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"We won!"

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

The americanisation of vulture.

Trump leaving

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"