"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"
Scholar Of Satire Pillows
Add a touch of humor to their space with pillows that feature clever satire—comfortable, funny, and perfect for fans of witty decor.
"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."
'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'
Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings
"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."
Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"
"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."
'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.
"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."
'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."
Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.
T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.
Bureaucracy gone mad!
Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!
'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'
"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."
"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."
'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'
'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'
"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."
The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.
"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."
"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."
The Modern Damocles -
William Makepeace Thackeray.
The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.
Bachelors and Masters degrees.
'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'
ENNUI...(smiley face).
"Your personality test shows you are selfish, mean, and lazy. We'd like to offer you a position in management."
Monkey Business College
Waiting Room For Godot.
"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."
'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'
Bureau of Missing Door Knobs
Scholar Of Satire Pillows Collection
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