Scholar Of Humor Pillows

The sixth college sense. 'I see debt people.'

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Zenemies.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

German School

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."