Student Of Humor Pillows

"Whew, am I glad there are more boys than girls in this class!"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'