Student Of Laughter Pillows

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'

Mice taking lessons.

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

"I can't believe it! -- My Mom spent $45 on this hairdo, and they still didn't put me in the gifted class!"

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."