Satirical Courtroom Drama Gifts

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

I love Lawyers

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Now that's a win."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"We make crime pay."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

A baby in court

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Sue The Bastards

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

Justice 4 Ron