Courtroom Satire Gifts

'Ladies and Gentlemen of the press- what is your verdict...?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

I love Lawyers

"Now that's a win."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"We make crime pay."

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Not guilty?"

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Why won't you cuddle?"

Sue The Bastards

Justice 4 Ron

'The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in what sense?'

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."