Court Drama Gifts

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Your Honor, it would be a hardship for me to sit on a long, non-celebrity trial.

'No offense, Your Honor, but we've decided to settle out of court.'

'Yes, I robbed the bank -- but I had the best of intentions.'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"In light of the recent normalization of so much abhorrent speech and behavior, the defendant respectfully enters a plea of "Seriously?" to the crimes he's charged with!"

'What 'public display of affection'? -- I don't even LIKE the guy!'

'That lawsuit you see in my future... which end of it am I on?'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"And you maintain on the night in question you saw nothing?"

"I told the young lady I'd giver her a tinkle, Your Honor, not a tickle."

"Objection, Your Honor! The prosecution is attempting to bully the witness by fact-shaming him."

Trial by Media

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

I love Lawyers

"We won!"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Sue the Author 3PM

Barristers

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Now that's a win."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."