Court Dramas Gifts

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

'Objection.' - 'Objection overruled.'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

I love Lawyers

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Now that's a win."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

"We make crime pay."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Sue The Bastards

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'