Legal Dramas Gifts

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"They won't let me disclose the terms of the settlement, but they can't stop me from hinting broadly at it by living extravagantly."

Courtroom drama

"I don't care how good he is. I want a handsome lawyer, like the ones I see in the movies!"

"Counselor, please refrain from doing that to the witness!"

The effect of watching too many trials on TV.

Lawyer objects to hearsay.

'I think you should try to impress upon your client the gravity of his situation.'

'I'm researching old Matlock episodes too.'

'It's a hi-tech romantic thriller...she e-mails him, he e-mails her, they meet, she gets nabbed for online solicitation of a minor.'

"I know what Ally McBeal would do."

"You can't handle the booth!"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'He not only accused me of making a mess, he pulled the rug right out from under me!'

'Sure, I did all that stuff once, but this is the NEW me.'

Witless protection prgram

"I can watch more 'Law & Order' than any man in this bar."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Not guilty?"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Another slander suit!"

'Way too much information on your resume.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'