Legal Dramas T-Shirts

'You want the tooth?! You can't handle the tooth!'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"They won't let me disclose the terms of the settlement, but they can't stop me from hinting broadly at it by living extravagantly."

Courtroom drama

Judge Rinder

"I don't care how good he is. I want a handsome lawyer, like the ones I see in the movies!"

"Counselor, please refrain from doing that to the witness!"

'Principal Harris, I vehemently deny all the allegations against me. The accusations are a mirage of lies, half-truths...'

The effect of watching too many trials on TV.

Lawyer objects to hearsay.

'I think you should try to impress upon your client the gravity of his situation.'

'I'm researching old Matlock episodes too.'

'It's a hi-tech romantic thriller...she e-mails him, he e-mails her, they meet, she gets nabbed for online solicitation of a minor.'

"I know what Ally McBeal would do."

"You can't handle the booth!"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'He not only accused me of making a mess, he pulled the rug right out from under me!'

'Sure, I did all that stuff once, but this is the NEW me.'

You ought to be in the funny papers, counselor. That was yet another hilarious objection. Overruled, of course.

Your honor, last night in a "Perry Mason" rerun they tried somebody "in absentia." Since my client is currently in jail, I was wondering if maybe you could let him out so he could leave the country and be tried that way.

Witless protection prgram

"I can watch more 'Law & Order' than any man in this bar."

“The jury has requested you pitch your case in the style of a six-part TV mini-series.”

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Not guilty?"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Another slander suit!"

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."