Watching Legal Dramas T-Shirts

'Your honor, we find these proceedings to be MUCH less interesting than what we see on TV.'

'Of course I speak with forked tongue. I'm a lawyer!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'A lady named 'Snow White' wants to see you about seven palimony suits.'

'Objection, Your Honor, opposing counsel is getting more closeups.'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Not guilty?"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Another slander suit!"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'Way too much information on your resume.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

"You don't have to answer that."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

'I will not have the species card played in my courtroom, Counselor.'

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.

Robert Macaire as a Barrister