Legal Drama Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I'll work on the appeal. You try to escape."

'Way too much information on your resume.'

'Permission, Your Honor, to treat the witness with hostility.'

"You lucked out -- the grand jury doesn't want to get involved"

'It doesn't look good! The prosecutor and the jury foreman are high-fiving.'

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

"I suggest we continue to treat everything as allegations until we all have to plead guilty."

"'Alleged,' please, 'alleged.'"

'Your honor, we find these proceedings to be MUCH less interesting than what we see on TV.'

'New bailiff!'

"Call my attorney and ask him if he remembers that trick for getting out of handcuffs without a key."

"I won't warn you again about leading the witness!"

'I think it's over.'

"It is our opinion that the practice of having actors speak in fake French, Italian and German accents should be ended at once."

"Wait! I know the answer!"

'I have decided not to run for re-election, so I can spend more time with my legal defense team.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'The witness is in denial, your Honour!'

"Objection, your honor! Non-responsive!"

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

Mr. Brass unexpectedly appears

The boss is going to jail sale

Stop Referring to Your 3 Felonies as a Trilogy

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason.!'

'No, I wasn't the getaway driver. If I was, I would've got away.'

"Yes, my client stabbed the victim. But he genuinely believed there was a rat in his hat making him do it."

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

"I'M your one call from County Lockup? Ohhhh Lenny."

Wait - isn't this the guy accused of impersonating an officer?

Judge. I ask you: are these the breasts of a murderer?? Since this woman is not the defendant and this is not a murder trial, I would say your question is not really germane, Mr. Fusco.

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

Back to the Battle of the Sexes

"My client was hunted down, arrested, held against his will and forced to defend himself. Let's not forget who the real victim is."

I need to recuse myself from this case because of a conflict of interest, your honor. On one hand, I want to clear my client of murder. On the other hand, after meeting his beautiful wife, I want him to get the electric chair.