Watching Court Dramas T-Shirts

'Your reason for non-attendance last time was, 'I'd seen too many courtroom dramas on telly and didn't fancy it'.'

Trial by Media

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

Pre-Minstrel Tension

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'Way too much information on your resume.'

Contest of wills.

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

'I will not have the species card played in my courtroom, Counselor.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

'How do you expect me to concentrate when you're reading me my rights?'

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''