Watching Legal Dramas Gifts

'Your honor, we find these proceedings to be MUCH less interesting than what we see on TV.'

'Of course I speak with forked tongue. I'm a lawyer!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'A lady named 'Snow White' wants to see you about seven palimony suits.'

'Objection, Your Honor, opposing counsel is getting more closeups.'

"...I vehemently deny all of the allegations against me..."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Not guilty?"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"Another slander suit!"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Way too much information on your resume.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"You don't have to answer that."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

"We the jury find that the murder was committed by Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the candlestick!"

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.