Legal Drama Gifts

"Can we, just for a moment, Your Honor, ignore the facts?"

"If it please the court, I'd like to act as my own plucky young female attorney."

'I'm recusing myself from this case.'

"If she sings it's over."

It looked like being a particularly messy divorce

Lady being asked to sign the accident book after slipping up in supermarket.

'Where were you on the night of October 31st?'

Judge: 'I will not have this courtroom be turned into a circus! ... no matter how fun it may be.'

'To avoid lawsuits tonight's news will not name names.'

"Remember, as your lawyer, anything we discuss is confidential. And if you rat me out, I'll know where to find you."

'My husband is a very large, loud and obnoxious man. OK, sure, I tried to hire a hit man. But just to hit him.'

'If you want to know what really happened, you'll have to buy my new book.'

"Looks like another out of court settlement."

"Burglary is in the eye of the beholder? That's a new on on me, counselor."

'Sorry, but my liability insurance no longer allows me to grant that wish.'

Laurel and Hardy police protection - "And don't worry about informing on the mob. I've arranged that two of my men give you 24 hour proctection."

'You shall be taken from here to a place of execution.'

'I can't believe you gave them your resume instead of the holdup note!'

'Ms. Halowell, get me legal.'

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

'Your honor,does this look like the face of a killer?'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

'Well, Bart, normally I'd hold you over for trial and let the judge hang you, but this might be a crowdsourcing situation.'

"Some call it jury tampering. I call it destiny."

Deep pockets on line two.

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'I request that the court disregard the current state of my client's trousers.'

"I know you have no kids, but she still gets child support for her inner child."

"You are charged with planting 'Early Peas' entirely too late..."

"Motion denied."

"...and the winner is.........."

'Your Honour, I think I've got something that will satisfy you and the jury.'

DIVORCE COURT, 'Are you free for dinner later?', 'See what I mean?'

Lawyer watching "The Feud Network"