Legal Drama Pillows

"Can we, just for a moment, Your Honor, ignore the facts?"

"If it please the court, I'd like to act as my own plucky young female attorney."

'I'm recusing myself from this case.'

"If she sings it's over."

It looked like being a particularly messy divorce

"Objection overacted."

Lady being asked to sign the accident book after slipping up in supermarket.

Judge: 'I will not have this courtroom be turned into a circus! ... no matter how fun it may be.'

'To avoid lawsuits tonight's news will not name names.'

"Remember, as your lawyer, anything we discuss is confidential. And if you rat me out, I'll know where to find you."

'My husband is a very large, loud and obnoxious man. OK, sure, I tried to hire a hit man. But just to hit him.'

'If you want to know what really happened, you'll have to buy my new book.'

"Looks like another out of court settlement."

"Burglary is in the eye of the beholder? That's a new on on me, counselor."

'Sorry, but my liability insurance no longer allows me to grant that wish.'

'Where were you on the night of October 31st?'

"While we wait for the jury to deliberate, I thought you could use a little light reading."

"You are charged with planting 'Early Peas' entirely too late..."

"Motion denied."

"I know you have no kids, but she still gets child support for her inner child."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'I request that the court disregard the current state of my client's trousers.'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Deep pockets on line two.

'Ms. Halowell, get me legal.'

'Well, Bart, normally I'd hold you over for trial and let the judge hang you, but this might be a crowdsourcing situation.'

"Some call it jury tampering. I call it destiny."

'You shall be taken from here to a place of execution.'

Laurel and Hardy police protection - "And don't worry about informing on the mob. I've arranged that two of my men give you 24 hour proctection."

'I can't believe you gave them your resume instead of the holdup note!'

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

'Your honor,does this look like the face of a killer?'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"Just hang tight and relax - I'm going to appeal your conviction first thing Monday morning."

Lawyer watching "The Feud Network"