Legal Drama Lover Pillows

"Oh stop judging me, Gerald!"

"May I represent you across the street?"

The secret to longevity is good genes, good diet, a good lawyer and witnesses with weak eyesight and poor memories.

'Looks like your only hope is that the jury will drown in all of the evidence against you.'

"Bad news, good news, sweetheart - the court rejected your appeal, but the networks are fighting to option it."

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

'We have a problem.'

'Will you bogus-marry me?'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Some call it jury tampering. I call it destiny."

"You'll need to find another attorney. I'm going to prison."

"'Guilty', but I completely support the troops."

King Kong vs the City of New York

"We have our conclusion, now we need the evidence!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

Arthur Andersen found guilty - 'Um...do you mind if we take care of the paperwork, your honor?'

'Oh well, that's law. Yesterday, I had the jury eating out of my hand. Today, they give you life.'

'Stop trying to change the subject!'

'The jury will please refrain from tossing seat cushions and heckling counsel.'

'Do you think I'll get any product endorsement contracts, since my trial is televised?'

'Counselor, you know that the jurors have the right to weigh the credibility of a witness.'

'Okay, hold that cogent legal point until we're back from commercial.'

'Objection, Your Honor...council is badgering the witness.'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"Bad news, judge. You ordered Mr. Charleston expunged. It should have been just Mr. Charleston's records!"

"Don't worry about a thing, I'm the best lawyer in town."

"Wait, what if we convinced the jury that, while they're wasting their time with me, the real Socrates is still at large?"

"Yesm this was a crime of passion - a passion for premeditated murder."

"I would also like to thank the jury for validating my work."

"There's a little jelly or something on your chin."

"Hey, didn't I just see you on Court TV?"

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Our legal department assured me it was rarely prosecuted."

"We find the defendant guilty because he doth protest too much."

"So, judge—how the hell you doing?"