Satellite Humorist Gifts

"Hey. . . now the picture's great!"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Clown God

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

Water is discovered on the moon....

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

"Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to ask you to fill out our service evaluation questionnaire."

"Shall we put it in play?"

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Mars Rover

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

"Wow! - String Theory must be true after all..!"