Satellite System Satirist Gifts

"Err..Hello?..Wilsons Car Sales? I'm having a little teething trouble with the satellite navigation system"

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Now you can send it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

Civilized Salmon

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'for more obit info, go to...'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Govt. UK led by Seance

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'