Satellite System Satirist Pillows

"Err..Hello?..Wilsons Car Sales? I'm having a little teething trouble with the satellite navigation system"

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Now you can send it."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'Einstein's blackboard as he left it'

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

Civilized Salmon

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

'for more obit info, go to...'

Try our new genetically engineered produce.

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

Govt. UK led by Seance

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'