Satellite Satirists Gifts

Tat Nav - Rag and Bone Man.

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

Govt. UK led by Seance

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Taken genetic engineering too far

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

If Sir Issac Newton and William Tell were brothers, gravity would never have been discovered.

Scientists have found proof that the mighty T-rex is related to the humble chicken.

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

"...And since the cure is worse than the disease, we can make more money by developing a cure for that!"

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'