Spacey Satirists Gifts

"The coffee is lousy. But the atmosphere..."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

Moon's Portaloo.

You've discovered how elderly dudes can keep picking up chicks? I've amended Giacomo's Theorem, yes. The pickup number is now direction proportional to age in instances where charm is also directly proportional to age. Journals from Milan to Vegas are publishing my findings. Of course, there's one flaw in my theory. Hold that thought, I feel some gas coming on. It won't apply to most dudes.

"If you work hard, exploit your employees, take advantage of a pandemic, use loopholes to avoid taxes,hoard your wealth, and in an act of extreme self-indulgent meaningless vanity, you can someday be an astronaut."

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"Well, isn't this just great? I told you this planet was in a sketchy neighborhood."

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

The Black Hole Commission

'Take us to your lead.'

Wheels are good, but I'm going into pure research.

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

Stand up comedians from outer space.

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

'I wouldn't consider you an environmentalist when your hybrid runs on half crude oil and half coal.'

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

'Celestial music, my eye. We were just picking up some FM station in Vienna.'

'Sorry folks, Tractor Beam's broken. We'll have to use a tractor piece of rope.'

'I come from. . . URANUS!'

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

Invasion if the Ill prepared Giants!

They Even Use Astronomy to Screw Workers

Astronaut dowsing on new planet.

Is someone trying to tell us something..?

New evidence from Curiosity; Martian blood likely to be green.

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

Mission to Mars. Astronaut Candidate Interviews. You think you'd be a good morale officer? The voyage to Mars and back is 100 million miles. I turn "miles" into "smiles"!