Science Satirists Gifts

Large Hadron Colliider-scope

'Celestial music, my eye. We were just picking up some FM station in Vienna.'

To an observer approaching the speed of light, Einstein and his surroundings appear to be tall and thin.

"I'm sorry, but we can't go out. I'm a creationist and you are a lump of coal. I....I just don't believe in carbon dating."

Studying the effects of little white coats on laboratory rats.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Strainspotting

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

'I'm an atheist!'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

So You've Cloned Yourself

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'

"Actually, I find his murky past rather attractive."

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

Govt. UK led by Seance