Scientific Satire Gifts

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

"You have to ask yourself, is it even worth finding the cheese anymore!"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Strainspotting

"I'm going to get you fired."

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

So You've Cloned Yourself

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'