Science Satirist Gifts

"These medicines all taste pretty good - let's approve them."

Most scientists regard the new streamlined peer-review process as 'quite an improvement'.

'Take them until further testing shows they really aren't effective.'

Animals Testing on Humans: 'Don't worry, they don't feel pain the way we do.'

'Sequencing? No, this baby tells us how much we can charge for genome data.'

"Bring me a stem cell."

Taken genetic engineering too far

'E=ma2. E=mb2...'

Quantum Mechanics.

'I admit I fabricated data, but I didn't falsify any, and I didn't plagiarize.'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"You are very seriously ill...you need to go somewhere where they have stem cell research...that would be just about anywhere but the United States."

'Need I remind you, Doctor, that you signed over intellectual property rights to the lab?'

'Don't believe everything you read.'

"I admit I fabricated data, but I didn't falsify any, and I didn't plagiarize."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

The Quantum Mechanic...

"The Big Bang Theory? I want to see you come up with the Big Bucks theory!"

'I worked at the Cloning Research lab. I was replaced by myself.'

'They took my pellets, man, I been hittin' that lever all day, they took my Pellets!'

Mr. Science Times

'Before we start our field tests, could somebody placate the Mountain God.'

'How can you not know if your cat is dead or alive, Mr Schrodinger?'

If Sir Issac Newton and William Tell were brothers, gravity would never have been discovered.

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

Test tube baby singing: 'All I want is a womb somewhere...'

'A large Federal study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that large federal studies don't prove anything.'

"The results are meaningless, but it gets the animal-rights people off our backs."

Gene Therapy.

"I admit I fabricated data, but I didn't falsify any, and I didn't plagiarize."

Dr. Ryan presents his controversial theory proposing that the cow is not flat.

The miracle of genetic engineering

Ever theatrical, Einstein would occasionally disappear into another dimension, thereby breaking the fifth wall.

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.